Why You Shouldn’t Feel Ugly
Dear Selfless Esteem,
I’ve never liked my looks. I feel ugly all the time. I’m uglier than everyone else. I wish I could know what it’s like to be good looking because it seems like those people get special treatment. How can I stop feeling ugly?
Dear Broken Mirror,
I’m sorry you feel ugly. You could actually be good looking according to American standards and still feel ugly. I’d like to point out why you shouldn’t feel ugly regardless of your physical appearance. 🦚
Let’s start with your creator. God carefully and wonderfully made you in His image (Psalm 139:14, Genesis 1:27). And He loves what He sees. An analogy would be how parents adore and gaze on their newborn baby.
The difference is people focus on physical appearance, but God looks at our hearts (1 Samuel 16:7). Beauty fades, but our spirits are eternal (Proverbs 31:10; Titus 1:2). For these reasons, the attitude of our hearts is most important.
God is a spirit (John 4:24); thus, our spirit is made in His image. 1 Peter 3:4 states a “gentle and quiet spirit…is very precious in the sight of God.” Listen to the encouraging lyrics in the following song, “The Fingerprints of God,” by Steven Curtis Chapman as it relates to this belief.
The View of Other People
You stated that it seems like good looking people get special treatment, but I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “beauty is only skin deep.” Good looking people can ultimately be rejected if they have prideful behavior.
Let’s look at two examples of this in the Bible. In the book of Esther, King Ahasuerus was going to show off Queen Vashti’s beauty to his guests at a feast, but she refused to comply. Consequently, he dethroned her. (See Esther 1.)
The other example is King Saul, who was the most handsome person in Israel (1 Samuel 9:2). However, his rebellion and stubbornness caused him to be dethroned. (See 1 Samuel 15.)
In conclusion, the best way to find favor and high regard from God and other people is through loving kindness, truth and faithfulness (Proverbs 3:3-4). Please see the posts, “Defeat Self-Criticism” and “Why Selfless Esteem Is Better Than Self-Esteem” to have more freedom by focusing on God, which is the essence of selfless esteem.
I also recommend finding a competent therapist to help you change this thought pattern. You may also be interested in the posts, “Want To Stop Feeling Depressed? Here’s How” and “What Is Wise Counsel and Good Therapy?”
I close with a Bible verse, which summarizes the discussion of why you shouldn’t feel ugly. Print it and place it in a strategic place, such as next to a mirror, to remind yourself of your eternal, spiritual beauty.🦢
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New King James Version®. Copyright © 1984 by Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, TN. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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