Why Selfless Esteem Is Better Than Self-Esteem

Are you ready to challenge the most popular psychology theory? For over 30 years, we’ve tried to increase the self-esteem of ourselves and others, yet the suicide** rate for ages 15-24 has tripled since the 1950’s, according to this article by Inspire Malibu. Isn’t it time to consider an alternative to the seemingly ineffective and possibly detrimental emphasis on self-esteem? 🤔

The Problem with Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is how we view ourselves. This can be high or low depending on how we perceive our characteristics, successes or failures. Consequently, we tend to feel more anxious or insecure as we evaluate ourselves. Who wants to continue on that endless roller coaster?

Even worse is judging ourselves based on how others view us because this is so subjective. Other people have different opinions of us for countless reasons; they have limited information, they’re in a bad mood that day, and so on. Basing our self-worth on someone else’s viewpoint keeps us on the roller coaster of self-esteem. (See the related posts, “Yes, You Can Stop Feeling Insecure! Here’s How” and “4 Ways To Stop People Pleasing.”)

The Freedom of Selfless Esteem

Selfless Esteem takes the focus off of ourselves and onto God and His view of us as His beloved children (1 John 3:1). We become free from the roller coaster of self-esteem because His love never changes (Psalm 136:26). God loves us unconditionally and so we love ourselves unconditionally.

But does that mean we disregard our unique characteristics and accomplishments? No, it’s still important to acknowledge them—while remembering they’re gifts from God (James 1:17). We celebrate our good traits in respect to the Giver of them.

With Selfless Esteem, we’re no longer preoccupied with what others think. Romans 8:34 says, “Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us.” God has justified us (Romans 8:1; Romans 8:33), and His viewpoint holds much more weight than other people’s opinions.

Selfless Esteem defines our identity as a reflection of God because we are made in His image (Genesis 1:27). Furthermore, we are a “new creation” because of Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17). For these reasons, we can get off the roller coaster of self-esteem.

The song, “Hello, My Name Is,” by Matthew West is a great reminder of who we are in Christ. Check out the video and lyrics below and believe it.

To recap, here are the main differences:

Self-esteem involves self-evaluation, which causes insecurity, anxiety, and more. Selfless Esteem is freedom from self-consciousness by focusing on our Creator, who is “the Beginning and the End” (Revelation 1:8). The result is joy and peace. (See the posts, “The Real Truth About God” and “How To Pray in 5 Simple Steps.”

If you’d like to have a free list of affirmations to take steps toward the freedom of Selfless Esteem, click here. Then meditate on each one until you not only understand it mentally, but also you believe it with all your heart.

This website is about boosting our Selfless Esteem and loving ourselves unconditionally in the same way God does. I invite you to take the journey toward Selfless Esteem, and in the process, you will paradoxically become the best version of yourself. 👑

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Click here to ask a question about life stressors you are facing. The answer will be from the perspective of Selfless Esteem and could be featured in a blog.

**Please note: I understand there are many factors that contribute to a tragic death by suicide. I’m only referring to the stressful habit of self-evaluation that may influence suicidal ideation and tendencies. In other words, I’m not trying to oversimplify a complex and very heartbreaking issue. (Peace and respect, y’all❤️).

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New King James Version®. Copyright © 1984 by Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, TN. Used by permission. All rights reserved.